school

When I was little, I was excited for school to begin. I painstakingly choose my new outfit and backpack, revelling in the plastic smell of newness. I woke extra early, excited and impatient to begin what I viewed as an adventure.

I loved school when I was young.

Now, I feel strangely nauseated, depressed, and anxious. I almost didn't wake up this morning-- and actually debated on missing my first day of classes, something that never entered my mind until this morning. The daily ritual of reading saints lives, taking a shower, and putting on a nice dress, impotent against my foul mood, filled me with a sense of despair and emptiness. Even the pleasurable simplicity of ordinary things are now rendered powerless against the gorgon academic experience.

I cried as buttered my toast.
That made the toast soggy.
next time I"ll just have cold cereal.

I hate school.
I must be old.